I took a week off from the Green Bay Packers and expounding on my grumpiness because I deserved it.
Cause ya know the mental anguish of following this team week-in and week-out is emotionally draining. Living on the edge of every offensive and defensive play is enough to turn even a grumpy old fart like me into a Scrooge or at least a puddle of ooze.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my Green Bay Packers more than anyone else but enough is enough. Injuries, sloppy play, and the constant struggle to field a team has brought me to the brink and I needed a break from the mental stress that I (and many other Packers fans) live through.
That then brings us to this week and what used to be my second favorite week of the football season. Viqueen week, but now who really cares? The Minnesota Vikings stink, I mean stink like a skunk hit on I-94 and then constantly run over by a convoy of semis on their way to Lambeau Field. The kind of stench that emanates from every plowed field in Wisconsin when the manure spreaders are at full tilt.
I used to enjoy irritating the Viking fans with statistics and facts that showed how pitiful they were (and are). I enjoyed pointing out how the only way they could assemble a team was to take our scrap and overpay for it. It brought me great happiness to point out that even when they succeeded with our scrap in the end they still failed to win.
But now as the leaves flutter off the trees and snow flurries begin to drift from the heavens above, I find no joy, love or even desire to torment the Viqueen fans. For every fan has a breaking point and can endure so much. Thus, would it be fair to point out the obvious and harp on it to those in the Purple Nation? If you beat a dead horse is it still not dead, then why torment the tormented as it will not bring the tormentor any joy.
Who really cares that this is the last time (if my fading memory serves me) the Packers will play in that inflated plastic bag known as the Metrodome (I refuse to call it the Mall of America Field). I mean it only gets worse by moving into temporary digs at TFC Stadium. A college stadium that sadly houses a perennial doormat of a college team and before anyone goes off on me for that, I earned the right to bitch about the Gophers cause I graduated from the University of Minnesota and though they stink just as badly as the Viqueens, I am true to my school and live the heartbreak of being a Gopher fan.
So who cares what happens this week up in Minn-ee-sooo-taaa? The Queens will trot out their scrap heap and put up a valiant battle but in the end the stench of losing will burn their eyes and force whomever their QB is to curl up and whitheras the Packers stomp on their frilly little dresses and do sack dance after sack dance.
Yes I know that most of the games between these two teams are decided by seven points or less, but seriously even at our worst and with an injury depleted team, we are still better than the Queens on their best day.
The Packers have talent, resilience, and fortitude behind them. The Vikings have karma kicking them in the backside (see Greg Jennings and Desmond Bishop) and reminding them how futile they really are.
The Packers may have a multitude of injuries but I have never heard of a quarterback getting hurt by just thinking. Seriously, Josh Freeman, was that playbook so difficult to read that your brain exploded causing that concussion? You have now set a new low in wimpiness. I mean you make Jay Cutler look manly and I thought that was impossible for a guy who wears a tutu!
When Sunday night rolls around I will have a decision to make. Watch Matlock and Golden Girls reruns or suffer through a game where the stench from Minneapolis will be so strong that it will curl our noses all the way to the shores of Lake Michigan.
The only questions that remains is how badly the Packers beat the Vikings.