Chicago Bears head coach Marc Trestman
Casey Sapio-USA TODAY Sports

Chicago Bears new head coach Marc Trestman is known for his innovation on the offensive side of the football – that’s why the franchise hired him as their coach. Clearly tired with the defensive focus that former coach Lovie Smith instituted successfully in Chicago, team brass brought in Trestman to lift the team into the 21st century.

And Trestman is working every angle while looking for every advantage.

Enter the helmet-cam.

According to Mike Florio of profootballtalk.com who was citing Brad Biggs of the Chicago Tribune, Trestman has outfitted quarterback Matt Blanchard’s helmet with a small camera.

What do you think Mike McCarthy is thinking about this?

The technology isn’t very new, actually. It’s been around for quite a while, and NFL teams have utilized it for various purposes.

So, what will be the advantage of watching playback from the camera. Well, we know what the disadvantage is – should any of the coaches suffer from motion sickness, this might not be the best way to see what’s going on at ground level.

However, Trestman and his staff are hoping to see something else – they’re hoping that they will be able to study the film to view what the quarterback sees on the field and make adjustments with their player.

Nobody’s really sure if this will be successful or just a method that comes and goes.

Florio provided this link to a helmet-cam video produced at the University of Kentucky. He’s probably right in suggesting that if you view it, you might want to take some dramamine first.

I do have one suggestion: Require Jay Cutler to review this film over and over again just before every game next season. That should prep him well. Just a suggestion.

In the end, I think the Bears, who have just three quarterbacks on their roster at this time, will need more than a helmet-cam on board to lift them to elite status in the National Football League.

On Thursday, Packers MVP quarterback Aaron Rodgers will appear on the second-to-last episode of the NBC primetime comedy “The Office” (9/8c). Since I’m pretty excited about his appearance, and since “The Office” is ending its nine-season run on May 16, I wondered what it would be like if NBC decided to

Aaron Rodgers

reboot the sit-com … featuring only members of the Green Bay Packers.

Without further ado …

Aaron Rodgers as Jim Halpert (played by John Krasinski): Always calm and cool, nothing flusters Rodgers or Jim. Plus Rodgers’ role as a bit of a prankster fits with Jim’s personality quite seamlessly.

Jermichael Finley

Jermichael Finley as Dwight Schrute (played by Rainn Wilson): Forehead jokes aside, Finley and Dwight have more in common than you think. They both are dedicated to their jobs but tend to make big mistakes from time-to-time – Finley with his key drops, Dwight with accidentally firing a gun at work. And Finley’s constant complaints about not having chemistry with Rodgers certainly goes hand-in-hand Dwight’s inability to get along with Jim at Dunder-Mifflin.

Clay Matthews as Ryan Howard (played by B.J. Novak): Since both Matthews and Ryan consider personal appearance a priority (Matthews stars in shampoo ads, Ryan once paid $200 for a haircut), this is a no-brainer. And much like Ryan is always trying to fend off quasi-girlfriend Kelly  Kapoor, Matthews must ignore dozens of marriage proposals at every game in Lambeau.

Ryan Pickett as Stanley Hudson (played by Leslie David Baker): Stanley has been doing (and excelling) at the same job nearly longer than any of his

Ryan Pickett

fellow co-workers. His work is always under-appreciated and his routine is what makes him so valuable to the Scranton dynamic. Does that sound like any 13-year veteran 3-4 defensive ends you know?

Evan Dietrich-Smith as Kevin Malone (played by Brian Baumgartner): Kevin and Dietrich-Smith take a lot of criticism. When anyone in the office has an accounting question, he or she always seeks out Oscar or Angela, ignoring Kevin. Up until this year, Dietrich-Smith was always good enough to be on the team. But many offensive line problems were always blamed for his presence in the line-up because he was never perceived as good as the player he replaced.

Clay Matthews and Kevin Greene

Kevin Greene as Creed Bratton (played by Creed Bratton): Since every workplace needs a weird old guy, Greene is more of a best-of-a-bad group. Greene is probably more eclectic than old, having appeared on TV shows like Wheel of Fortune and Pros Vs. Joes. But if someone told you Creed had a brief foray into pro wrestling and was also a U.S. Army paratrooper like Greene, would you be surprised? Neither would I.

James Jones as Andy Bernard (played by Ed Helms): The lovable, flawed Andy character is personified in James Jones. Jones, who arrived in Green Bay with all the talent in the world coming out of San Jose State. But just like Andy, Jones struggled to carve a niche in the passing attack in Green Bay. Andy’s sales were so bad, he was relegated to making cold calls with Pam. Jones’ free agent market was so bad, that he ended up signing a below market deal in Green Bay. But when push came to shove, it was Andy who was named branch manager after Michael’s departure. And it was Jones who led the NFL in touchdown receptions when Greg Jennings and Jordy Nelson couldn’t stay healthy. What a couple of redemption stories.

B.J. Raji as Darryl Philbin (played by Craig Robinson): Raji and Darryl are the unsung heroes of the workplace. Whether it’s taking on double teams in the trenches or coordinating shipments that former branch manager Michael Scott botched from the get-go, both of these guys are instrumental to the success of their teams. Everything falls apart without them.

Ted Thompson as Michael Scott (played by Steve Carell): Certainly I’m not calling Thompson a bumbling general manager, but his and Michael’s stories are similar. Both had high images of themselves in wanting to do things their way when they started. Fans crushed Thompson every year for never signing big name free agents despite having the money. And Micheal’s employees were ready to wring his neck in how he handled his sales team upon selling The Micheal Scott Paper Company to Dunder-Mifflin and returning to his post as manager (much like how Thompson polarized Green Bay in handling the Brett Favre situation).

But in the end, both were loved because of the special interest Michael took in each of his employees and Thompson for bringing the Lombardi trophy back to Titletown.

Terrell Owens
Byron Hetzler-USA TODAY Sports

It must be tough being T.O. – a few weeks ago the former NFL star who was last on a football field three years ago still wants to play, but nobody wants him.

Last year, he was brought into the Seattle Seahawks training camp, lasted a couple of weeks and then was shoved back onto the pavement. A few weeks ago, he came out and said he wouldn’t mind playing for the Chicago Bears because he has a longtime relationship with new head coach Marc Trestman. The Bears did the right thing, too, and said they had no interest.

Now comes the report that T.O. wants to play for the New England Patriots.

Here’s what he said: “I think that’s a no-brainer. You look at what they’ve done over the years. Under the tutelage of Tom [Brady] and Coach Bellichick, I think the sky would be the limit in terms of what I’d be able to do. Considering my body of work and my history of playing the game.”

Well, his body of work and his aging body mean nothing to the Patriots. Team officials came out this weekend saying that T.O. was nowhere near their radar.

Maybe T.O. should just join up with Randy Moss and form their own beach football team and get it out of their heads that anyone in the NFL would even consider their services.

Someday they will get the message. Hopefully, sooner than later.

The one good thing about all this, Packers fans? He hasn’t said he wants to play in Green Bay. Now, THAT is a good thing.

So it’s time to lighten things up a bit. We take all the headlines that appeared on profootballtalk.com’s Saturday morning one-liners and add our own take. We try to be humorous – sometimes we are … sometimes not so much.

We’ll give our best shot … smile if you like.

Saturday morning one-liners

The Bills are looking for extras for a film that will shoot scenes at Ralph Wilson Stadium on May 25.

We think the Bills have plenty of extras on their football team who might be looking for some extra cash.

 

Pats rookie S

Duron Harmon
Charles LeClaire-USA TODAY Sports

says his NFL experience matches his college one, so far; “It just literally feels like Rutgers,” Harmon said. “I see where Coach Schiano got some of his sayings, the structure of his program from.”

Does that include Coach Schiano’s way of dealing with defending against the opposing team’s victory formation?

 

Dolphins rookie RB Mike Gillislee looked good in Friday’s minicamp practice, via James Walker of ESPN.com.

Just how good did he look? Was his hair combed?

 

The Jets have organized a 5K walk to raise funds for Lupus research.

Well, now that Tebow is gone, they finally have SOME good news.

 

Ravens rookie NT Brandon Williams can walk on his hands for 10 seconds, which is even more impressive given that he has a “huge chip on [his] shoulder” from playing Division II college football.

Now if he can stop the run while walking on his hands … now that would be special.

 

Le’Veon Bell

Steelers RB Le’Veon Bell may not be a Hall of Famer, but he’s wearing a Hall of Famer’s number.

Well, that’s a start, but a long way from Canton.

 

Bengals LT Andrew Whitworth took TE Tyler Eifert and his family to dinner last Friday; “Great family.  Great kid.  He’s hungry.  He’ll fit right into this locker room. What upset me more than anything is that’s he’s a scratch golfer,” Whitworth said.

I’m glad that Eifert is hungry and was given the chance to go to dinner.

 

Browns defensive backs coach Louie Cioffi is “excited” to be back in the AFC North.  (Calm down, Tebow.)

I’m not sure anyone who is with the Browns could be THAT excited.

 

Jim Irsay
Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports

Colts owner Jim Irsay is helping the owner of a Colts-themed restaurant pay the rent in order to keep the doors open.  (At least the guy didn’t partner with Paulie.)

Shouldn’t that qualify for some kind of government handout?

 

Mike Bianchi of the Orlando Sentinel doesn’t understand why the Jaguars will take a chance on troubled WR Justin Blackmon but not on Jacksonville native Tim Tebow.

Hmmmm … a talented wide receiver who might need some guidance over a quarterback who can’t hit the broad side of a barn? Tough decision.

 

New Titans S George Wilson and TE Delanie Walker joined the team’s traveling offseason caravan.

Just what are the Titans selling with that traveling caravan? Maybe they can buy some wins?

 

The failure of the Sun Life Stadium renovation bill significantly enhances the Texans’ chances of hosting Super Bowl LI.

It seems like the Texans have been the bridesmaid and never the bride these past few years.

 

Broncos TE Jacob Tamme thinks WR

Wes Welker
Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports

is “awesome.”  (Calm down,Chris Farley.)

Wes Welker IS awesome and the Broncos think so, too, because they got him for such a nice price.

 

Chiefs WR Donnie Avery sees similarities between QB Alex Smith and QB Andrew Luck.

Well, they were both first overall selections in the draft and … and … well, I can’t think of anything else. Can you?

 

Get to know Raiders DT Vance Walker.

Do we have to?

 

Yes, the Chargers opted for a Division III quarterback over Tim Tebow.

So did everyone else.

 

Cowboys rookie WR Terrance Williams was known as “the enforcer” at Baylor because of a no-nonsense reputation that allowed him to keep teammates in line.

Sounds like he’ll be loved in Dallas.

 

A general view of logos around the field prior to the NFC Wild Card playoff game between the Washington Redskins and the Seattle Seahawks at FedEx Field. Geoff Burke-USA TODAY Sports

The Redskins have assigned numbers to their draft picks.  (To assist with jersey sales, each rookie also will have “III” added after his last name.)

Let’s just hoping they don’t have to be members of the Redtails.

 

Former Eagles LB Jeremiah Trotter makes his acting debut in a film called The North Star.

Oh great, another football player turning to acting. I thought they all learned their lesson with Jim Brown.

 

Performances at the Senior Bowl attracted the Giants to OT Justin Pugh and QB Ryan Nassib.

Now that’s pretty big news.

 

WR Duron Carter’s decision to try out for the Vikings and not the Ravens was driven by the presence of receivers coach George Stewart in Minnesota; “It was really 50-50,” the son of Cris Carter said.  “Coach Stewart is really what got me in here. He’s got a great history with T.O. and Roddy White.”

If Carter’s kid can push off like his old man, he’ll be in the Hall of Fame, too.

 

Get to know the Packers’ undrafted free agents.

We already know them.

 

Sixth-round DE Cornelius Washington could be a steal for the Bears.

Yeah, that’s the only way the Bears can get decent players … they have to steal them.

 

Lions DT

Ndamukong Suh
Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

is raising awareness and research funds for pediatric brain cancer, in support of the Jack Hoffman foundation.

That’s nice. Really. But maybe he needs to raise awareness and research funds for those suffering from stomping disease.

 

The Panthers have high hopes for 32-year-old CB Drayton Florence.

Why are the Panthers even dealing with a 32-year-old QB when they have Cam Newton.

 

The Buccaneers expect rookie fourth-rounder Akeem Spence to be the starting nose tackle in 2013.

And this is the biggest news coming out of Tampa Bay?

 

Former Panthers K John Kasay will deliver the commencement address at Wingate University on May 11.

And in other news, Cam Newton will be delivering the commencement address to the second grade graduating class of the kid in the Play 60 commercial.

 

The Saints worked out British Olympian , who eventually signed with the 49ers.

And Okoye is still trying to figure out how to put on shoulder pads.

 

Cardinals defensive line coach Brentson Buckner has the ability to connect with his players; “I speak their language,” Buckner said.  “It’s crazy to look around. I am one of the young guys out there and then coaching the position I actually played.  It makes it easier for a player because now they trust what I say, because now I’m not talking about how somebody told me to play a block or how to play a technique.”

Yeah, sure. Whatever you say coach.

 

Seahawks offensive line coach Tom Cable raves about the “retention” of his players’ fitness and preparedness; “It goes to show the type of guys coach [Pete] Carroll and John Schneider are bringing,” Cable said.  “They’re bringing in not only five-star athletes, but they’re bringing in five-star people that understand what it takes and what they need to do to prepare at the highest level.”

Yeah, Cable knows all about five-star players … remember all the success he had in Oakland?

 

The Rams may have gotten a keeper with pick No. 113, Alabama OL Barrett Jones.

Well, yeah, they’re probably right about that one.

 

49ers TE Garrett Celek learned last year by studying Vernon Davis.

Sounds like Vernon Davis is the name of a class.

“Will someone please change the channel on that stupid TV???” Author Kevin Gibson loves his music, but he also loves his Packers – especially on Draft Weekend!

I’m an NFL Draft watcher; have been for years now. Hey, I live for the Green Bay Packers, so any pro football programming I can get in the spring to help avert my eyes from the NBA playoffs, I am all over.

But I’m also a music devotee and amateur musician, and sometimes my band travels to play shows. Actually, along with the Packers, playing music is one of the great loves of my life (never mind that I’m not very good at it). So it was that my band was asked to play International Pop Overthrow in Chicago this year … during the NFL Draft.

That’s right, Day One of the NFL Draft. And Day Two. And as for Day Three of the draft? Travel day, back home to Louisville, Ky. Oh god. Who booked these shows? Oh wait … I did. Three months ago. Idiot.

My nightmare begins in the Windy City. Somehow, I must find a way to blame Bears fans for this tale of woe.

Day One, Thursday, April 25

“Will somebody please text that LombardiAve.com guy and tell him I’m a Packer now?” Photo: Pat Lovell-USA TODAY Sports

My bandmates and I arrive in town and make it to the venue not long before the draft officially begins. Perfect. I’ll have time to watch at the bar while we wait to play later in the evening. I hang out with my bandmates, listen to the other bands on the bill, track the picks until the Packers are on the clock at 26, and all will be well.

As the selections tick away, I look up occasionally to see updates.

Dee Milliner is gone at No. 9? We all knew he’d be gone well before the Packers choose at 26. No worries.

But as the evening moves forward, the time for my band to take the stage and the time for the Packers to draft, it soon appears, are on a collision course with fate. Nervously, I watch the clock on the wall as it ticks down, and the band playing before us – a local act called the Red Wigglers –bangs through its quirky set.

Tyler Eifert to the Bengals! No big deal. Aw, and Sharrif Floyd falls to 23? How’d that happen? Oh crap. We’re on in 10 minutes.

“We have one more song for you!” the band’s lovely, auburn-haired singer announces.

Dammit.

Hey, at least when we walked off stage that night (after playing a killer set, I might add), I got a nice surprise in learning that we snatched up Datone Jones. Talk about adding some nasty to a defense that has been accused of being soft. Oh, we’ll see who’s soft come September. And at least tomorrow I’ll have a better chance of watching more of the draft unfold.

Day Two, Friday, April 26

Our band is scheduled to play earlier in the evening this time around, but the draft starts earlier, too. I snuggle up to the bar as the Packers are just four picks away from their second-round choice. At this point, I have no idea who is even left because we spent the afternoon rehearsing in the hotel room and running around downtown Chicago.

And then, before my horrified eyes, the channel switches – to that night’s Chicago Blackhawks game coverage. Hockey? Are you kidding me?? No one’s even watching it!

“Sorry,” says the bartender. “It’s a local game. I can turn the draft back on when the game is over, if that’s OK.” Sure, pal. I can wait for TWO AND A HALF hours. No problem.

Eddie Lacy is the Packers second round selection – a good thing in Kevin Gibson’s mind. Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports photograph

So I call up my NFL app on my phone. I’ll show him.

Sure enough, the draft picks start loading, and even though I can’t watch the highlight reels, I’m back in business. Until … “No Internet connection. Click to re-try.” aaaaAAAaaAAaaRRRrrRRGGGH!!!!

And we play another kickin’ set. But it’s not until we get back to the hotel room later that I learn we got Eddie-freaking-LACY in the second round at 61. How in the hell did THAT happen? And in the third round? Well, the ESPN ticker keeps sliding by, name after name. What, are you kidding me? We traded out? What did we get??? Oh, we got about 142 later-round picks, apparently. I’ll take that.

By this point, my very patient bandmates have to be getting tired of watching talking heads analyze draft picks on NFL Network. I mean, they don’t even care about football, let alone the Packers. I finally throw them a bone and announce that no one will die if they change the channel.

I vaguely remember falling asleep to an Adam Sandler movie.

Day Three, Saturday, April 27

It’s not a short drive from Chicago to Louisville. In the van, my buddy and bandmate Butch and I talk about music mostly, and he chuckles each time I check my phone. He knows it’s either my girlfriend texting me or me frantically searching for Packers draft info. Usually the latter.

“We got Jonathan Franklin in the fourth friggin’ round!?” I shout.

“Who?”

“Never mind.”

McDonald’s/bathroom break at Indy with our rhythm guitarist Nick. Like I said, it’s not a short drive.

Finally, two hours later, Butch drops me off in front of my house. I drive to my girlfriend’s apartment to pick up my dog, Darby, and visit with her and her son. I return home, shower and put on some clothes that don’t smell like beer, leftover pizza and man-stink.

Then I plop down onto my couch and turn on ESPN to try and catch the end of the draft coverage. Mr. Irrelevant has apparently been picked about 20 minutes earlier. The 2013 NFL draft? Over. And I did not get to see one Packers’ selection as it happened. Sigh. I really need to re-evaluate my emotional investment in this football team. This four-decades-old obsession is getting the best of me. Maybe.

So, uh … how many days until training camp opens?

Even former Green Bay Packer Antonio Freeman can’t believe the size of Gilbert Brown’s burger.

With the enormous weight thrust on the entire football world in the last several weeks, it felt like the right thing to experiment with a little of the absurd to lighten the mood.

Why not a dive into the culinary classic that is the Gilbert Burger.

There have not been many Packers players associating themselves synonymously with a food product. Yes, Brett Favre has his steakhouse in Green Bay, and Jordy Nelson had the A&W , “Jordy Burger,” but did they have the connoisseur of calories overseeing the masterpiece?

I think not.

Gilbert Brown, the grave digger.

Gilbert Brown, a Super Bowl defensive tackle affectionately know as the “Grave Digger,” had the beautiful distinction of slapping his name on a burger that was all his own.

Dispensed by Burger King, the sandwich consisted of three Whopper patties glazed with every condoniment and stacked with layers of cheese, onions, tomato and lettuce. Brown, however, made one exception on his opus.

No pickles.

Now, being a kid, I remember the incessant investigating on how to find this coveted prize of perfection.

No car, no job, no problem.

I was not going to let these obstacles break my spirit. Instead, I was going to break my parent’s will with a steady peppering of,

“Wow…I wonder what that burger tastes like?”

“You know it is only a limited edition right?”

“I’m gonna run away….unless I get a Gilbert Burger.”

Finally my adolescent barrage wore down their defenses and I was able to feel what it was like to be pregnant.

Now if you have never seen the albino deer that shares the elephant’s name, it is basically what you would expect.

A full on assault of the coronary.

Reaching in the fog of nostalgia, I can still envision the sandwich dwarfing my little hands. My infantile logic thought since Brown ate it, I must eat it.

Less than a quarter of the way through, I tapped the mat, with my stomach feeling like it held 10 bowling balls

The burger launched a phenomena in the Green Bay area according to Sport Illustrated in 1997, by selling more than 150 burgers a day during the mecca of meat’s run.

Now, Brown and the burger are retired and settled in the green pastures to remember the good ol’ days.

In the burger’s case, barren pastures.

Keep Tim Tebow out of Green Bay, please. Send him to Chicago.
Mandatory Credit: Ed Mulholland-USA TODAY Sports

Everywhere I look this morning, it’s Tim Tebow this, Tim Tebow that – but the good thing is the fact that just about every team associated with his name is saying no.

Though they haven’t been mentioned, I’m certainly hoping nobody – and I mean nobody – is foolish enough to include the Green Bay Packers in any of that discussion. Yes, maybe the Packers need to be concerned about their backup quarterback situation, but anybody with a brain will understand that Tebow is poison.

We’ve seen graduates of the Mike McCarthy’s quarterback university. Aaron Rodgers is one; Matt Flynn is another. There’s no reason why Graham Harrell or B.J. Coleman couldn’t emerge from the shadows – in fact, one of them may have to one of these days.

Remember back when Tebow was forced out of Denver and so much talk swirled about Tebow heading to Green Bay? Aren’t you glad those rumors never came to fruition? I am.

In closing, Mike Florio wrote a piece this morning about what might be next for Tebow and I was amused that among the teams included were the Chicago Bears. Here is what Florio included in his post:

Bears:  In January, a source with direct knowledge of the Tebow dynamics in New York offered a prediction about his future.  “Watch the Bears,” the source said.  And it makes sense.  New Bears coach Marc Trestman helped tutor Tebow before the 2010 draft, and Trestman squatted on Tebow’s CFL rights during Trestman’s time as coach of the Montreal Alouettes.

Now if we can only get Terrell Owens to sign with the Bears, it would be a true three ringed circus – Tebow, T.O., and Cutler. That might even be worth the price of a ticket … or not.

By Timothy Ellingstad

of Lombardiave.com

Each year there appears to be more excitement about the NFL draft. Mock drafts start the day after the real draft ends. The same draft evaluator/prognosticator/pundit/analyst/prophet will publish multiple versions of his or her own draft predictions. Inexplicably these change all the time.

There is talk of college players “rising” or “falling” at different points, and not just based on combine or pro-day performances. This or that player seems to “get hot” and shows up earlier on various mock draft boards than in previous mock draft boards. This all gives the impression of movement, of things improving or getting worse for different players, though in reality nothing is actually changing or moving at all.

This is exactly like when the loudmouthed bad guy from the beginning of an old kung fu movie (not the main bad guy, but one of the main minions) busts up a café, threatening people, and talking about how his master’s kung fu is strong, and the new quiet guy’s kung fu is weak. We know that eventually we will learn how things shake out, but till then it’s a lot of pounding on tables and heavy gesturing.

Perhaps this is similar to different analysts discussing their predictions about upcoming games. They will bicker and argue about offensive and defensive schemes. They will talk about who has more heart, the home crowd, and “who wants it more.” Often when they disagree one inevitably says, “I guess that’s why they play the game, right?”

Good point.

Once the game starts, none of the prior talk matters. Once the game is over, no one cares about the predictions. Even the correct ones. The same is true of the draft – though we have a much longer period of time to listen to the commentary as opposed to a Sunday afternoon game.

Nonetheless, I like it when commentators agree that my team will win, even though they don’t change anything. Likewise, I also like reading the mock drafts. I tend to have a pretty unhealthy relationship with football, and even though nothing is actually occurring by way of these predictions, I find myself feeling pleased or frustrated by what this or that person has guessed. I know it does not make any logical sense, which actually makes it worse.

With this in mind, I have compiled a list of key lessons gleaned from my youth of watching vintage kung fu movies, which I believe, translate perfectly to dealing with the road to the upcoming NFL draft:

1. That old looking guy with the crazy eyes, white hair, and metal claw hands is a bad dude, even though he is dressed in white.

2. That huge out of shape looking guy wearing an open, animal fur vest and no shirt has an anger problem. He will likely come over and eat your food with his hands.

3. If you practice doing finger push-ups by putting eggs under your palms, you’ll have to eat a lot of scrambled eggs. But you’ll learn how to do finger push-ups.

And most importantly…

4. Watching enough kung fu on TV may give the impression that you know kung fu. Watching kung fu on TV, however, does not translate well to real life. Best to leave that metal claw hand guy to the quiet fellow who just came down from the mountain after doing a lot of push-ups and eating a lot of eggs. He looks like he takes care of claw hands for a living.

Eh, on second thought, I’m just going to do what I do every year: chew my fingertips until something happens with the Packers, read up on whoever was picked, convince myself that every pick is the second coming of Paul Coffman (it doesn’t make a lot of sense, but I’ve always had a thing for Paul Coffman), and then two years later either feel personally validated or personally slighted by the outcome.

The best indicator as to what the future holds.

For those of you who have read my previous posts, you know that I take a lighthearted approach to all the mock drafts that are fabricated based on insights garnered by Magic Eight Balls and it is the sole reason why I still believe the Packers will draft some college kid that plays football.

You also might recall that I predicted that the Green and Gold would go 0-16 this next season because that way anything better than that is a positive.  There were a few of you who did not find the humor in that.

Now as we move into the remaining days leading up to the draft and with the 2013 NFL schedule released I felt the necessity to offer up some of my more profound insights (well that and I have a $1.99 bonus in my contract that pays out if I can write more than two articles on a day that ends in “y”) as to a few things that are just a tad irritating.

The first area I would like to address is some of the negativity and general attitude towards Nick Perry.  Many pundits and bar stool general managers have questioned his physical ability to play the game.  Yes, I do understand that he professed to not want to play outside linebacker in our current defensive scheme.  I also understand that some scouts questioned his intensity and that he was not giving it 100 percent on every play.

Nick Perry, NFL bust after six games?  Photo by Brett Davis-USA TODAY Sports

Yet I wonder how so many of these people have come to such final conclusions. I even read the article in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel by Tyler Dunne, where he quotes one scout as saying, “When I saw Nick, I saw more of a Vernon Gholston, said the scout, referencing the sixth overall pick in 2008 who is now out of the NFL. ”

The guy played in six games before going on IR with a knee injury and it was also noted that in the season opener against San Francisco he injured his wrist, on which he eventually had surgery.  So how can anyone professional or otherwise consider this guy a bust?

What we have seen in a total of six games is a total of 18 combined tackles,  two sacks and one pass defended.  All of which was done with an injured wrist and a bad knee.

Now I am not saying he should get a passing grade for an incomplete season but what he did show was the ability to be a presence and make some plays.  Considering he was also learning a new position as well as upgrading to the speed of the NFL, I am just irritated beyond most points of common sense to comprehend how this guy is being written off as a bust and non-factor.

Not every player is going to be a Clay Matthews and to write him off after six games is downright absurd.  Give it a year or two and if he does not perform the way he should have or was projected to, then call it a bust and move on.

Another one of those tidbits that has gotten under my skin is the projections and speculations of the upcoming season.  I just cringe when I hear that the Packers have a rough schedule based on their opponents’ records last year.

Breaking News  … what happened last year is last year, it does not count for anything this year.  Yes I was the guy who joked that the Packers would not win a game.  But the point of all that was to show how silly it is to try and predict what is going to happen in 2013.

Is it fun, sure.  Is it worth getting all worked up over and yelling and screaming when they lose to the Lions and beat San Francisco?  No.  I am passionate about each and every game.  Some may even say that I have crossed the line into a realm that may question my mental stability on Sunday afternoons.  But in the end, predicting what may happen is just as foolproof as predicting the winning lottery numbers.

Worst case scenario, Aaron Rodgers lost for the season.   Photo by Brace Hemmelgarn-USA TODAY Sports

Let me paint this scary picture.  In the third pre-season game, Aaron Rodgers goes down with a knee injury that puts him out for the season.  What do all those preseason predictions mean at that point?  Not a thing.  In fact, my prediction of 0-16 has a greater probability than most of the 12-4 predictions I have seen.  All I am saying is why get your undies in a bundle over something that we have no control over.  Can we say Indianapolis Colts and Peyton Manning lost for a season?

The NFL schedule is a crap shoot with any one team winning on any given day so don’t worry about it and enjoy the season as it unfolds.

Finally, I am just tired of hearing about the draft and who we are going to pick or why we should pick this guy over that guy.  I am the type of fan that does not get all geeked up putting together my draft board or tryinbg to figure out who is best for our team.

I am the lifelong fan who remembers the excitement that came with drafting Tony Mandarich (not that it lasted all that long), the signing of Reggie White and the glory years of Brett Favre.  I enjoy looking back at the story of Aaron Rodgers as he fell into our lap and what he has accomplished since then.

For me the season starts after we make our draft picks and sign the undrafted players.  Then we can start to see what we (the Packers Nation) have brought to the table and start to get into the development and determination of what we might just have and how it will help.

Truly CRAZY after all these years!

Now I am not trying to put down those fans that get into all of the draft and details that go along with this time of the year.  It is just not my thing.  I want to see the pads on and the guys hitting each other.

So please, someone, wake me when the real fun starts, because this time of the season just drives me crazy!

A Seattle Seahawks fan holds a the letters “T O” for new wide receiver Terrell Owens (10) during a training camp at the Virginia Mason Athletic Center. Joe Nicholson-USA TODAY Sports

OK, so this happening is about as far-fetched as Mr. Spock beaming into my living room, but I have to comment on it because Terrell Owens always amuses me – especially when he comes out and says he wants to play for the Chicago Bears.

Yes, I said that right. Yesterday TO came out with a statement saying he would love to play in Chicago for Marc Trestman, his former coach who was with him in San Francisco way back when.

Here’s what TO had to say as reported on my favorite Bears fan site, beargoggleson.com:

I played my first early years in San Francisco with [Bears head coach Marc Trestman] and shortly after that, he left to do some things. I haven’t talked to Marc in a long while. I know he’s gone on and done some things, now he’s back in the NFL. So, I never really thought about it until myself and Napoleon were talking about it earlier, but I would definitely welcome it if they would give it some serious consideration. To think about [Bears wide receiver Brandon Marshall] on the other side and me on one side, that’s really dangerous. I’m keeping myself in shape just for any opportunity that may come about.”

I would love for this to happen. First of all, if he were to sign, he would never make the team. The Bears already have Marshall, Alshon Jeffery, Earl Bennett, Eric Weems and Devin Hester. The Bears aren’t going to part anytime soon with any of those guys. If he did make the team he would be riding the bench and would be nothing but a distraction – the best thing that could happen to the Bears. Don’t they have a big enough distraction with that guy by the name of Jay Cutler?

Secondly, TO is just too old. The Bears got rid of Brian Urlacher, so why would they bring in TO? That would be a slap in Urlacher’s face – and another distraction.

So, though it’s not going to happen, the thought of it is amusing and thought I would share it with you.

My question is this: Why would any NFL team consider bringing this guy in?

Move on, TO. There must be some golf courses out there who might welcome your membership.

Lawrence Okoye – future NFL star?

By Niall Connelly

of Lombardiave.com

Non-American prospects such as Margus Hunt, Bjoern Werner, Menelik Watson and British Olympian Lawrence Okoye are garnering a lot of attention and creating quite a buzz around the NFL.

All are raw prospects who will need a lot of personal coaching and development but their pure natural ability and potential has NFL teams salivating so much so that Hunt, Werner and Watson all regularly appearing in first round mocks.

It will be no surprise to see these three freakish athletes play in the NFL next season but if the other man mentioned above, Lawrence Okoye, manages to get a spot on an NFL roster, then it could be the start of a new highly exciting and beneficial trend for the NFL.

Australian Football and the AFL is a sport in a similar situation to the NFL, not in the way it is played but in its setup – a highly physical indigenous sport fighting off competition from other sports and trying to expand its worldwide popularity.

Around 10 years ago controversial former AFL player and famous sports agent Ricky Nixon began his Irish experiment. After seeing the success of Gaelic footballers “Big” Jim Stynes (R.I.P) and Tadgh Kennelly as converts to AFL, Nixon embarked on a project to find and develop the finest Gaa talent as Australian rules footballers. To date, Nixon has helped more than 40 Irish footballers forge successful careers down under.

The success of Nixon’s project has led to a whole new breed of Australian footballer – one whose unorthodox style and skill set baffles opponents and amazes spectators. The involvement of Irish players at an elite  level of the sport has greatly improved the sports appeal popularity in Ireland.

Jim Stynes Irish Australian footballer

Were Okoye to make an NFL roster and perform at a high level it may open the floodgates on an influx of foreign players into the NFL from other sports.

Fans are constantly talking about the similarities between sports such as rugby and American football so is it beyond reasonable doubt to suggest that sooner rather than later we will see rugby players donning pads and helmets on Sundays?

With the current day epidemic of poor tackling plaguing the NFL, adding guys who consistantly bring ball-carriers down without the use of helmets and the shoulder charge is a beneficial move for NFL defenses.

How does this have any relevance to the Green Bay Packers, you may ask?

Well not only do the Packers suffer greatly from poor tackling the are also one of the most resourceful and inventive teams when it comes to finding players. Packers General Manager Ted Thompson rarely makes waves in free agency with big money signings, but instead builds from within, taking undrafted and developmental prospects and turning them into contributors.

The Packers’ roster is littered with unheralded prospects – guys like Dezman Moses, DuJuan Harris, Jarrett Boykin, Sam Shields and Tramon Williams all went undrafted only to land with the Packers and land chances to shine.

Sam Shields and Tramon Williams two of TT greatest discoveries

With this resourcefulness and approach to finding guys to develop, I feel that Ted Thompson would be one of the GMs most willing to give guys from other backgrounds a chance to try their hands at Football.

It is I believe a strategy that could offer huge rewards for very little risk in return.

Yes, we are all wound a bit too tightly, folks. It is just preseason. Whether the Packers fix their pitiful running attack, whether Graham Harrell can find his rhythm, whether the defense can find its mojo and just how long Desmond Bishop will be out – yes, those are important questions to consider.

But not today.

Today I thought i might be fun just to relax and take a look at something fun, something not related to football, something that will put a smile on my face and give me time to think about something less stressful … kinda like when Packers coach Mike McCarthy took his team skeet shooting.

Yes, there will be those of you out there who will scream and whine like Detroit Lions coach Jim Schwartz. You will say, “this is football season. We work hard here and we make every minute count. When I come to this website, I want to read about football, I want to have every ounce of football information crammed down my throat because that’s what we do!”

Relax.

We’ll get back to football. There’s plenty of football season ahead and yes, we’ll give you what you want.

But for today, here’s something a bit different.

Being a journalist, a man of words and fonts, I provide you this brief, humorous look at what fonts might sound like if they had a voice. You know you’ve done it with your pets. Well, today we do it with fonts.

Check it out. Then stop back later today and the rest of the football season for some Packers news …