Jay Cutler’s Future


When former Denver Broncos quarterback Jay Cutler threw a temper tantrum and forced his way out the Mile High City and into a Chicago Bears uniform, he joined a long line of Bears quarterbacks.  The first few that jump to mind are everyone’s favorite Kyle Orton, Rex Grossman, Cade McNown, Shane Mathews, Jim Miller, and Jim McMahon.  The name that sticks out the most out of all of those is that of McMahon, Chicago’s Super Bowl winning quarterback in 1985.  The man did everything.  He was tough, stood tall in the pocket, led the Bears to winning season (although much credit should be given to that defense), and, most important of all, mooned helicopters.  Believe me, every team needs a quarterback that can do that.

While I don’t expect Cutler to be out mooning helicopters anytime soon (the Broncos team bus seems like a much more likely target), there should be one side effect of playing quarterback in Chicago he should be wary of.  Due to the pounding quarterbacks in Chicago have to take, he could have some trouble with some, ahem, man parts:

I’m not exactly sure Jay knows what he’s in for in Chicago.  Look for him less than 20 years after is career ends to be popping the magic pill trying to get what he lost playing quarterback for the Bears.  Yes, it’s that kind of job.  Sure, if he leads the Bears to a quarterback, he’ll be remembered for that, but then again, he’ll also be remembered for needing pills to help him with the ladies.

You’ve had your warning Jay.  You’re going to want to wish you stayed in Denver.

And don’t forget your cup when Week 1.