Green Bay Packers: Magical Cheesebeads, Grape Crush and the Super Bowl

The Green Bay Packers Sunday took their aerial assault west to TCF Stadium, home of the University of Minnesota Golden Gophers and temporary digs of the Minnesota Vikings

until their new palace is completed (currently sitting at a completion rate of 23 percent) and ground out a sloppy victory.

Many fans and prognosticators will point to the running game as the key to the Packers win.

I, however, fully disagree.

Using the magic of the Cheese Beads, Riley Jones helped the Packers beat the Vikings. Tutu Power and Chesse Beads all the way! Libby Wheary Jones photograph

I called upon the power of the Tutu, as well as utilizing my mystical powers as a Gopher alum to cast a victory spell over TCF stadium.

It just was not enough to ensure another victory.

I called upon the campus gods of the Village Wok and Sally’s (two of my favorite campus haunts) to support the Packers, but yet it was not enough.

So in case you missed it, there is only one reason and one reason only the Packers won and that is because I used the most special magic I have in my green and gold bag of victory tricks.

I placed a call to the Eastern Tundra and asked that the magical Cheesebeads of Lambeau Field be placed on a believer.

Not just any believer, but one pure of heart. An artist. a philosopher and most importantly, one with a sparkle in her eyes that would blind the Viking offense, hamper the defense and freeze the special teams. A mystic, who with the power of the tutu and the cheese beads as well as everything else at our beckon and call would have the power and strength to guide the Packers to victory.

My friends, this victory is due to one person and one person only – the Keeper of the Cheese beads, Riley Jones!

So on behalf of the Packers Nation, thank you, Riley, for leading the Packers to victory and sole possession of first place.

Together with the power of the Tutu, the Packers will ride the magic all the way to Arizona and another Super Bowl Championship.

A lot of things took place during the game and in the end a victory is a victory no matter how sloppy. Did we miss anything? Honestly, I wanted to miss a lot of what I saw on the field. So what did we miss?

One thing I have noticed is that every season Clay Matthews has a hamstring injury to some degree. Clay, my beardless Viking conqueror, just once can you make it through a season with out a hammy issue? I can understand a broken thumb, a concussion or even a bad hair day, but seriously, I am so tired of your hammy being a strain on this team’s defense.

The other big to-do post game was Aaron Rodgers taking a swig of grape Crush.

So the man was thirsty.

It was not like he could run down E. Washington Street (from TCF Stadium) to Sally’s and slam a liter mug of hard apple cider. I mean seriously, I love a good conspiracy theory better than anyone, but this was nothing more than a man quenching his thirst with what was available.

Minnesota Vikings quarterback Teddy Bridgewater is hit by Green Bay Packers linebacker Clay Matthews during the second quarter at TCF Bank Stadium. Brace Hemmelgarn-USA TODAY Sports photograph

So the bottle was recyclable and the color was purple, there was no hidden meaning.

Now next week after we beat the New England Patriots and send them back to the Colonies, if Aaron breaks out a cup of tea, then there may be something to this post victory celebratory drink conspiracy thing.

Speaking of conspiracies – Minneapolis is set to host another Super Bowl in a couple of years. What I want to know is why? The last time they did I lived there. It was cold, I mean like nasty cold where you just wanted to stay inside and pray that some Norsk God would take pity on you for it being so cold and knock you into spring with his hammer or something.

It was a big deal but why should Minneapolis get the Super Bowl again? I really thing it is time that the Super Bowl come to Lambeau. I don’t want to hear there is not enough hotels and that we are too small of a market.

Green Bay is the heart and soul of the NFL. We are the World’s Team and it is time that we be given the opportunity to showcase this gem we call Lambeau Field and the State of Wisconsin.

So it may be cold or snowy or both. There might even be a blizzard but you know what? Football is a sport that is to be played in the elements. Seattle may have the 12th Man but we have something better, stronger, the one thing that no team can prepare for.

We have Old Man Winter.

Think of it, two warm weather teams trying to slug it out on the frozen, snowy tundra. Or better yet the Packers hosting the Super Bowl and using the weather to their advantage to bring home another trophy.

I can feel it now.

Roger Goddell, I call you out. Man up and bring the Super Bowl home to Lambeau Field, home of the Great Vince Lombardi, St. Vince and the Tutu Guy.

We can put on a show that will make the world forget about all that is bad about the NFL. We will show the world the power of cheese, blaze orange and Wisconsin hospitality.

BRING US THE SUPER BOWL!

GO PACK GO!!