Jordy Nelson hasn't lost his fastball.
He may have retired long ago, but some things never change. Nelson made a career of crushing the Detroit Lions, and the Green Bay Packers' former Pro Bowler has handed them another loss.
Lions safety Brian Branch landed the most blatant one-game suspension you'll ever see after Sunday Night Football. Moments after the Kansas City Chiefs sent the Lions crashing back down to earth, Branch attempted to go full Madden with a real-life rage-quit, slapping Chiefs receiver JuJu Smith-Schuster across the face (well, his helmet).
Even Lions head coach Dan Campbell couldn't defend Branch's actions, but that didn't stop the Lions from appealing the suspension. What they didn't know, though, was that one Jordy Nelson would have the final say.
Hearing officer Jordy Nelson, jointly appointed by the NFL and the NFLPA, has upheld the one-game suspension of Detroit defensive back Brian Branch.
— Michael Signora (@NFLfootballinfo) October 16, 2025
Packers legend Jordy Nelson hilariously had the final say on Brian Branch's suspension
It's no longer Pro Bowl wide receiver Jordy Nelson, but Hearing Office Nelson. The Packers legend has held this job for a little while now, but it will always give fans a jump scare when they are reminded that he's a footballing judge these days.
Let's be clear here: Jordy didn't have much of a decision to make. This was as clear-cut as you'll ever see. Why on earth did the Lions even waste the time and effort to appeal this?
I mean, Branch's own head coach said this: "What Brian Branch did is inexcusable."
It's fitting, though, that the Lions' most embarrassing move of the season landed on No. 87's desk. Nelson produced many memorable moments at the Lions' expense throughout his career, so why not provide one more for the road?
The Lions are 4-2 and have navigated through a difficult opening six-game stretch, losses to the Packers and Chiefs notwithstanding. But you'd never guess. They're still talking about their defeat at Arrowhead Stadium, whether it's the refs' decision to rule out Jared Goff's touchdown catch (which was the correct call) or trying to overturn Branch's suspension.
Appealing the one-game ban is about as embarrassing as it gets. The TV cameras caught the entire incident. Here's how it played out: Kansas City won the game. Patrick Mahomes offered Branch a handshake. He refused. Smith-Schuster didn't appreciate it. Branch hit Smith-Schuster.
The easiest suspension you'll ever. Case closed. Nice one, Jordy.