For those of you who follow profootballtalk.com religiously like me, you know how they do a great job with their daily team “one-liners.”
I love perusing through the list and clicking on the links that are of interest to find out what’s happening around the league. We all know the NFL is a prime source for soap opera-level news and there isn’t a day that goes by where there isn’t some headline that makes everyone following football yank their head around or at least raise an eyebrow.
I love it, you love it, we all love it.
So today I decided that because the snow is falling outside, the ground has at least two feet of snow on it, the lakes are about three feet thick and baseball is sucking right now that I would have some fun with these headlines.
What I’m about to do is counter each of the headlines that appeared this morning on today’s one-liners with my own thoughts on the issue at hand … and as a warning, some of these may not be young-age appropriate. No, they won’t be XXX either, though if there were one about Super Bowl XXXII, I might have some derisive words of choice.
However, I don’t think that will be the case. So, here we go … I will post each of the real headlines that were included in today’s one-liners and follow it up with my own thoughts … or maybe my own headline, depending on how I feel at the moment.
Saturday morning one-liners
Here’s the full list of the Bills’ pre-draft visitors
… Or what’s the best way to scare away players …
We wonder if it’s because everyone’s been partying like Gronk …
The Dolphins believe they have the ammunition to trade up from No. 12 to No. 1, but they most likely won’t.
Well, why even mention it then?
Yes, but will the Jets have anyone to lead the offense?
Didn’t he have the role before?
Now, who in their right mind would admit to that?
The Ravens have hosted UConn LB
And did they wine and dine him, too?
Former Browns player and employee Ricky Feacher, now a substitute teacher and coach, was arrested this week on drug and traffic charges.
I guess now he will be a former teacher and coach, eh?
Titans TE Delanie Walker, who lost an aunt and uncle to a drunk driver after the Super Bowl, has pledged support for a bill in Tennessee that would require ignition interlock devices for first offenders.
And that IS a good thing.
Texans RB Arian Foster has made it to the semifinals of the latest contrived ballot process for determining whose photo will appear on the cover of a popular-but-underwhelming video game that, if the technical upgrades were as good as the promotional efforts, would be a much better product.
Wow. I don’t know how to top that convoluted headline …
Sheesh … Don’t The Star employees have anything better to do?
Jaguars.com has the team taking DE/LB
with the second pick in the draft.
Wise choice, though any choice by the Jags is an upgrade
The Chiefs likely will start the 2013 regular season on the road, due to the Royals’ schedule.
What is this? First it’s the Ravens being pushed around by the Orioles and now it’s the Chiefs – but this is twice as bad because it’s the ROYALS!
Will they be premiering it by showing the replay of that bomb from Flacco at the end of overtime in that playoff game last year?
The Chargers’ list of pre-draft visitors includes Alabama G Chance Warmack.
The Chargers should just kidnap him because we all know he wants to go to Tennessee.
The Raiders’ official 2013 draft party will be held at the Buffalo Wild Wings in San Ramon. (Fans will be able to throw darts at the board the team previously used when making picks.)
Now this is a great idea … Raiders fans dressed in their best eating wild wings. Will there be beer, too?
Oh, boo-hoo. Every team has injuries. We don’t feel your pain, Daniel Snyder.
The Cowboys, once a Team of the Decade, are now settling for slightly less meaningful honors.
Yeah, like chumps of the decade.
Could the Eagles trade down from No. 4?
Now, why would they do that? Is Chip Kelly stupid?
Former Giants LB Marcus Buckley has been accused of workers’ compensation fraud; Buckley allegedly received $1.588 million to which he wasn’t entitled.
Holy crap! Football player get workman’s comp? No wonder the rest of us can’t be considered eligible … he took it all!
Packers K Giorgio Tavecchio was working as a student-athlete tutor at Cal before receiving an email inviting him to work out for the team.
What? The Packers didn’t text him, too? What about Skype?
The Vikings are looking for a new, well, Viking.
Hey! What happened to the the revolting guy they used to have? I could smell him through the television!
Holy prospects? I’m hoping they all had name tags!
Whose team was it before? Was Matt Millen still hanging around?
For Mother’s Day, the Buccaneers will provide makeovers to 50 mothers of current military members.
Oh how nice. I mean it. That is really nice. I can’t say anything bad about that.
C’mon man. Just give him a job … don’t confuse him.
With all the talk about the Falcons’ defensive ends, it’s easy to forget they have apretty good defensive tackle.
Ok, who is it? You mean I have to click on the hyper link? Oh, OK …
plays the piano and hopes to pursue a career in music after football.
And in the meantime, this guy has made plenty of defenses sing the blues.
The 49ers have added QB Steve Young and coach George Seifert to the committee that hopes to host Super Bowl L.
And the Packers will have Brett Favre and Mike Holmgren promoting to host Super Bowl L in Titletown
Why is it that some people are so stupid?
Real healthy guy, I would say.
What did he do? Oh I know – he stopped talking …