February 14, 2027. The Green Bay Packers will win Super Bowl LXI.
To steal a phrase from Paul Heyman, that's not a prediction, it's a spoiler.
Don't just take my word for it. Here are 50 reasons so indisputably, irrefutably, undeniably, incontrovertibly scientific. Cold. Hard. Evidence. Shall we?
50 reasons why the Packers are guaranteed to win Super Bowl LXI
50. Tucker Kraft was the best TE in football before he got hurt last season, and he expects to play in Week 1 without a pitch count.
49. It's not just me saying it. George Kittle said it.
48. The Vikings are still considering starting J.J. McCarthy (no, seriously).
47. Matthew Golden's breakout season is coming. His four-catch, 84-yard, one-touchdown performance in the playoffs is a sign of what's to come.
46. Antonio Freeman had a quiet rookie year, then exploded in Year 2, a Super Bowl season. Matthew Golden can do the same.
45. Four of the Packers' final five games are at Lambeau Field.
44. The Packers are tied with the New York Giants for the most championships (4) in seasons directly after a FIFA World Cup. The Giants aren't winning it this year.
43. Christian Watson is a superstar. Once he returned from an ACL injury last season, his numbers would've put him on pace for 1,038 yards and 10 touchdowns.
42. Caleb Williams and the Bears have been hit with the infamous Madden curse.
41. Besides, the Bears are due to decline this season. As ESPN's Seth Walder notes, they overachieved in 2025. The Football Power Index gives them only a 46.5 percent chance of making the playoffs. Will they build on last year's success? "It's less likely than it might seem," Walder believes.
40. In fact, the Bears are so scared of the Packers that they moved to another state.
39. There will be a first quarter moon for Super Bowl LXI. The last time Jordan Love played when there was a first quarter moon, he threw four touchdown passes with a 124.2 passer rating in the Packers' 31-24 win over the Lions on Thanksgiving 2025.
38. There will be a waxing gibbous moon during the wild-card round. In the Love era, the Packers are 5-2 when the moon is waxing gibbous.
37. There will be a waning gibbous moon during the divisional round. In the Love era, the Packers are 7-2 when the moon is waning gibbous.
36. There will be a waning crescent moon during the NFC Championship Game. In the Love era, the Packers are 6-5 when the moon is waning crescent.
35. The moon is made out of cheese, by the way.
34. Wisconsin produces the most cheese in the United States. California is No. 2. The Super Bowl will be played in California.
33. The Packers won a championship in 1936, 30 years later in 1966, and 30 years later in 1996. The math tells us Green Bay will win again in 2026.
32. The Packers are tied with the Patriots for the most championships (3) during the Year of the Goat in the Chinese zodiac. Super Bowl LXI will take place during the Year of the Goat.
31. Jordan Love has built a reputation as a "Toyotathon Merchant," but his elite performances exceeded Toyotathon last year. On January 10, 2025, after Toyotathon, he threw for 323 yards and four touchdowns versus the Chicago Bears.
30. The Packers will play the Rams, Patriots, Bills, Texans, Cowboys, and six games against their NFC North rivals. They will be battle-tested by the time the playoffs arrive.
29. Green Bay has games on a Monday, Wednesday (Thanksgiving Eve), Thursday, Friday (Christmas Day), and Sunday. They will play in seven primetime games, including two holidays. All that's missing is Super Bowl Sunday.
28. The last time a Packers QB threw four touchdowns in a playoff loss, as Jordan Love did last January? Aaron Rodgers versus Arizona in 2009. Green Bay won it all the following season.
27. The Packers have more playoff wins (7) than any other team in seasons directly after a Toy Story movie release. Toy Story 5 came out this summer.
26. Jordan Love is often compared to Aaron Rodgers and Brett Favre. Rodgers won a Super Bowl in his third season as the Packers' starting QB, Favre in his fifth. Love will split the difference and win a title in his fourth year as the starter.
25. From 2022 to 2025, the Super Bowl logo featured colors of the teams that ended up playing in the big game. Is it a coincidence that the Super Bowl LXI logo features green?
24. Jordan Love is from Bakersfield, California, just 117 miles away from SoFi Stadium, where Super Bowl LXI will be played. Home-field advantage.
23. Matt LaFleur has won an incredible 76 games in just seven seasons, an average of 10.9 wins per season.
22. He is 3-6 in the playoffs, but it's only a matter of time before the Packers have another deep run.
21. LaFleur proved he can coach a team deep into the playoffs, having reached the NFC Championship Game twice.
20. The Packers have fielded the league's youngest roster three years in a row. They focused on adding experience this offseason, bringing in veterans Javon Hargrave, Zaire Franklin, Skyy Moore, Benjamin St-Juste, and Tyrod Taylor. Their leadership will make all the difference.
19. Javon Hargrave has played in two Super Bowls.
18. Tyrod Taylor was the Ravens' backup quarterback in Super Bowl XLVII.
17. Benjamin St-Juste would've played in a Super Bowl if he didn't have to waste a year of his career with the Chargers.
16. 100 percent of Skyy Moore's catches in Super Bowls have gone for a touchdown. Fact.
15. (Admittedly, it was one catch, a 4-yard TD, but the point stands.)
14. And while we're talking about Skyy Moore, the Packers finally have a returner. Romeo Doubs, yes, Romeo Doubs, led the team in punt returns last season. Doubs averaged just 6.3 yards per return compared to Moore's 11.6-yard average in San Francisco.
13. Darian Kinnard is a three-time Super Bowl champion, and he's not even in the Packers' starting lineup.
12. Super Bowl LXI falls on (Carrington) Valentine's Day.
11. It's literally a day to celebrate (Jordan) Love.
10. Speaking of a Love Story, Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce just celebrated their wedding. The first loss the Chiefs suffered with Swift in attendance? December 3, 2023, to Love's Packers at Lambeau Field.
9. Aaron Rodgers + Mike McCarthy + Pittsburgh = Packers Super Bowl? In 2010, those ingredients combined for Rodgers and McCarthy, with the Packers, defeating the Steelers in Super Bowl XLV. Rodgers and McCarthy are now reunited in Pittsburgh. A good omen, perhaps.
8. The Packers are undefeated in Super Bowls at SoFi Stadium (0-0).
7. Green Bay has bolstered its run defense by adding Javon Hargrave and Chris McClellan. Meanwhile, Chicago has lost star center Drew Dalman, who was a key piece in the Bears' No. 3-ranked rushing offense last season. PFF ranked Dalman No. 6 among centers.
6. The Lions also rely on their rushing attack but face questions along the offensive line. They have turned to veteran Cade Mays at center after failing to replace All-Pro Frank Ragnow last season.
5. The Rams are the NFC favorites after trading for Myles Garrett, but Matt LaFleur is 5-0 against Sean McVay.
4. Besides, the Packers don't need Garrett because they have Micah Parsons returning from injury.
3. Former Packers defensive coordinator Jeff Hafley predicted that Parsons will break the sack record this season. Jeff Hafley is not a liar.
2. Jordan Love. Micah Parsons. Tucker Kraft. Christian Watson. Edgerrin Cooper. Xavier McKinney.
1. It's the Green Bay Packers. Go Pack Go!
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