Find someone who loves you like Jared Goff loves a clean pocket. Unfortunately, the Green Bay Packers are no longer in a loving mood.
Goff has benefitted from elite offensive line play in Detroit, allowing him to stand in the pocket without a care in the world. It's easy to look like a superstar when throwing to elite pass-catchers behind a group of All-Pro bodyguards.
The Packers had seen enough, and they've found Goff's worst nightmare ahead of this week's can't-miss season opener at Lambeau Field.
Goff may want to look away from the forecast because storm clouds are coming in the form of Micah Parsons. Beyond soaring to an all-world level during his four-year stay in Dallas, the Packers' newest pass-rusher holds a specific advantage over the Lions that should terrify Goff.
Micah Parsons can eliminate the one remaining advantage Jared Goff holds over Packers
That star-studded offensive line Goff played behind? Decimated. Center Frank Ragnow and right guard Kevin Zeitler, who combined for five Pro Bowl appearances, are gone. All-Pro right tackle Penei Sewell remains, but lining up opposite Parsons may bring back painful memories.
No pass-rusher gets the better of Sewell. At least, that's what we thought. Nobody told Parsons that, apparently.
"Lest we forget about the last time Parsons and Sewell played: Parsons rushed against Sewell 18 times and generated five pressures," writes Ben Solak of ESPN. "It's the only five-pressure game a player has had against Sewell in the past three seasons. (In case I haven't banged the drum enough yet: Parsons is so, so, so ridiculously good.)"
Pressure is Goff's kryptonite.
According to Mina Kimes of ESPN, over the past two seasons, Goff ranks No. 1 in the NFL for QBR when kept clean. Under pressure, he falls to No. 27.
It's why Parsons is such a difference-making addition to this Packers defense. Defensive coordinator Jeff Hafley no longer needs to scheme pressure. Parsons allows this unit to win consistently with four.
He is on a Hall-of-Fame path. Only two players in NFL history have posted 12-plus sacks in each of their first four seasons in the league. Parsons is one. The other? Reggie White. And it's not just Parsons' presence that should strike fear into the Lions, but the knock-on impact his arrival will have.
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Parsons will draw double-teams, making life far easier for Rashan Gary, who can move around the defensive front and exploit favorable matchups. Hafley will undoubtedly use Gary to challenge Christian Mahogany and Tate Ratledge, Detroit's brand-new starting guards who lack NFL experience.
It helps Edgerrin Cooper, whom Hafley can use in so many ways to create chaos. As a blitzer? Look out.
The Lions' rock-solid Honolulu Blue wall is finally showing cracks, and Parsons might just break it down in Week 1. If he can generate pressure against Sewell, the Lions' premier pass-protector, the floodgates could open.
It would place Goff in uncharted territory. Only once during the Lions' new-look, division-winning era has the Packers' pass-rush presented a problem. That came on Thanksgiving Day in 2023, when Green Bay sacked Goff three times, hit him on 12 occasions, and forced him to fumble three times. The Packers won 29-22.
Since then, the Lions have bossed the matchup and allowed Goff to escape without breaking a sweat.
Parsons changes that. Provided he is healthy and ready to go in Week 1, which isn't a guarantee, his arrival creates a real problem for Sunday's Lambeau visitors. Goff's offensive line has far rockier foundations than in previous years, and Green Bay now has the pass-rusher to break down the big blue wall.
The Packers didn't just trade for an all-world pass-rusher. They found Goff's worst nightmare.